The Odyssey Translation

My translation is of the last portion of The Odyessey - Book I, when Telemachus is going to bed:

( I do not consider myself well versed in poetry. So, although this wasn't the most descriptive portion of the piece I enjoyed the detail about Eurycleia. Therefore, I tried to give this a modern day feel, and since it is 2006 I threw in a few twists that I thought could give better imagery to this old tale. i.e. condo= extravagant castle. Hope that you enjoy...)

After the music disappeared into the nighttime
people began dispersing away from the party
into their homes
Telemachus started his long trek home.
Home to his condominium
View overlooking what seemed to encompass the whole world that surrounded him as a child.
Structure was that of an eternal monument.
Climbing the massive amount of stairs,
finally arrived to his bedroom where he exhausts himself upon the bed.

Fortunately, Eurycleia, loyal and elderly servant, carried flames
They led their long path from the courtyard to the condo.
She is loyalty to Telemachus, that of a mother,
for she had breast fed him when he was an infant.

Laertes, his father, purchased her when financial standing was good
and had treated her with just as much, if not more, respect as he gave his own wife.
In fact, the only difference between Eurycleia and the Queen was that she did not sleep with Laertes.
Therefore, Telemachus held Eurycleia very dear to his heart for she loved him
She cared for him more than any other servant.

He tears off his clothing gives it to the woman
She makes certain that each crease pressed
hung for the morning.
Slowly she walks to the doors
Exits as she securely shuts their broad structure
locked tight.
Telemachus lay in bed
fleece embracing him
spends night
meditating
the journey that Athena advised
awaits him.

I used these three translations to create my own:

Butcher-Lang 1879

Butler - 1900

Myatt - 1996